INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE

By Carol Masters - Becketwood Member

A call comes from Becketwood Security, Danette: “Carol, there’s a very large box down here--UPS just delivered it. I think you’re going to need help getting it on a cart.”

My new chair was ordered online, from IKEA! “OK! I’ll be right down with my cart.”

Danette clears her throat, maybe visualizing one of the Lunds grocery carts: “A really BIG Box--you’ll need a flatbed from the garage--if you can locate one.”

My heart sinks--the west elevator is out again, and my foot hurts. Nevertheless, I picture sinking back in my new chair; I can do this! So, I limp to the east elevator and down and, with the help of a staff member, find the flatbed on the other side (of course) of the garage.

“Rolling, rolling, rolling,” I hum from an old tv western, “keep them dogies rolling, rawhide!” -- encouraging it because the cart seems to want to lurch to the left or stop dead in its tracks. But Big Box and I make our way eastward and into the elevator, carefully down the east ramp (as Members give us a wide berth) to the lobby, where Danette helps me tip the box onto the cart. I can do this.

The cart seems to be more pleased with the carpet than with the garage cement and

more or less behaves as I push it back up the east ramp to the elevator, through three halls, and turns to my unit on the 4^th floor. The entry turns into unit 474 presents more challenges. Happily, neighbor Kathy happens along and takes the bow as I jiggle the stern and, eureka, we are eventually six feet into my apartment, clearing the doorway.

“Where is it going to sit? Don’t you want to get the box closer?” Kathy asks. I am happy with our progress—no more tonight. “Rest now,” I mumble.

Day 2. Unpack, pull yards of plastic and Styrofoam wrap from pieces--yes, pieces-- of the chair; search for Instructions; break down, slice, stomp box; then the cart, cardboard, plastic trash and I make our way back to the garage. Later, I locate instructions, taped beneath the chair backpiece on the floor, and sit (elsewhere) to ponder them.

Instructions for Use: 1. Put the chair stably on a flat floor. (Hm. As opposed to a rumpled or slanting floor?)

2. Building the chairs in good condition. (Who writes these things? And is this grandmother in good enough condition?)
3. Stay away from open flames. (I promise.)
4. Avoid the overload at the chair. (No comment.)

The following five pages are no help, being in French, Portuguese, Spanish, German, or Italian. This chair has international aspirations! I am encouraged, though the rest of the booklet is pictures, or rather, diagrams of the pieces and hardware, numbered.

Day 3. I am building the chair!

What I learned: works better to tip a chair over than to lie on the floor screwing up with an Allen wrench.